While I consider myself to be a 'go-with-the-flow' type of a person, I have to wrestle with and finally reckon with the fact that I am not. Oh, I'm not a grossly controlling or controlled person, and there is much evidence that points to a more laissez-faire tendency. I could haul out all of the evidence to defend myself and say, for example, that I don't keep a regular calendar or planner (a dreaded word to me), that my office is a disaster (as are my closets, my work bag, the state of my panty drawer and all other drawers, really). No, I don't need the stereotypical supports to keep my life under control, it's more a mental thing and a planning thing. I like plans - I like to daydream about them and I also like the follow-thru. I can deal with some plans that change. For example, I was supposed to work and live in Southern CA for three years, MAYBE four years, and then move on to another city, another region, another school... That plan changed as my life changed, and I've dealt quite swimmingly with all of that change. Pats on my back all around.
Life plans that change are one thing, weekend plans that suddenly surge and bolt and form are another beast altogether. In that small-scale, micro-arena, I can become terrifyingly neurotic.
And so, this weekend was a welcome break from "Kristina-the-time-control-freak". Some plans did happen, like drinks on Friday night; some plans formed in an impromptu fashion, like brunch at a friend's place on Saturday morning, blueberry pancakes made by yours truly and we all quaffed a mimosa or two (!); hanging out Saturday afternoon for what was supposed to be an hour or two but extended itself to four; ditching a hike before finishing it and heading to Ventura, CA for a nice, relaxing late morning/early afternoon excursion.
The last item was a bit of a bummer, to me, as I was really looking forward to the hike which offers wonderful 360 degree views. However we were hiking with a friend who is not only not 'athletic' but falls into the 'inactive' category, I believe. That is not a judgmental statement, just a fact. I don't consider myself to be athletic, but Michael and I try to stay active so that we can take the occasional hike. Anyway, he's a great friend and the hike really WAS a bitch, so it didn't hurt us to turn around. Michael and I plan on 'bagging' Mugu Peak at another point and time, so rather than be frustrated that I didn't meet MY personal goal for the day, we called it a morning and headed to Ventura. Life really isn't so bad when you have to face those sorts of choices. I was still, however, impressed that I could take on a more flexible attitude. Maybe there is hope for me yet?