The current status of my running "game"

After plenty of weeks of gloom and doom in which I didn't run or as I returned to running I found the process painful and slow, I've finally reconnected with running (let me cross my fingers as I write that).  Recent weeks have marked a few good milestones:  with caution, extending my runs, little by little from 3 to 4 to 5 miles.  In recent weeks, I've actually hit double digits in terms of total mileage with a whopping 11-12 miles run in a week!  It doesn't seem like much to some people, but it boosted my confidence a bit.  Also, I've enjoyed pretty much every run and have prayed to the running gods before and after, happy to be back on the trails and pavement.  In addition to lengthier runs, it's also been nice to see my legs get some faster miles under them, and I've enjoyed pushing myself a bit more.  Yesterday was huge as I hit seven miles right at a 60 minutes.  That seventh mile was all downhill, so it was fun to see a really faster-than-usual time pop up!

As I've been running more and without aches and pains during and after my runs, obviously my mind has turned to the 2013 "race calendar", and I've started to fantasize about new PRs and tons of awesome experiences.  At the same time, I've also balanced out the fantasy with the reality of my life this spring - busy and pretty full with other plans and obligations.  I did finally satisfy my racing lust by signing up for a 10k in March - it looks like a fun, beautiful and hilly course, so a fast time is doubtful, but I'm excited for it!  I realized that my last stand-alone 10K was in November 2011, so why not push myself at that distance this year. 

The big question for the spring is the Mt. Wilson Trail Race in May.  I mean, 8.6 miles, 2,100 elevation gain - it's such a FUN experience!  Okay, it is major suffering and a terrifying experience that turns into fun when your brain can no longer process the pain or fear.  And only really terrifying on the ascent - the descent is a piece of cake! I am feeling somewhat uninspired to start to train, and if I haven't trained at all, I could still manage the race, but I would suck, and it's too hard a race to just do "for fun" in my opinion.  So, I've started to consider not running it, an idea has a certain appeal...

And that has prompted me to think that I'm losing my desire to have a "hard-core" runner's identity (I'm not saying that I actually am a hard-core runner, but I think that I used to really want to be).  Mt. Wilson will still be there next year, and if it means that I can  can enjoy a weekend elsewhere, maybe along the Central Coast, maybe biking with friends and looking at elephant seals and drinking lots of wine, well I think that I can forgo my attempt to be a bad-ass runner!