Monday, September 6, 2010

Summer's end: Angst and excitement ahead!

Today marks THE END of summer! Although that end has drawn near for a while, what with a student writing workshop a few weeks ago, and then last week and its meetings and planning and speaking in a full faculty meeting (major stomach butterflies!) and prepping, this is the proverbial "rubber-hitting-the-road" moment. I wish that I could say that I feel extremely able to strut into class on Wednesday and dazzle all of my students with the witty presentation of the class and the material to which they will dedicate the next ninth months of their lives. That I will compel them to work their hardest at every moment, and that I will keep well apace of their every move, thought, wish and desire!
And then pigs will fly!
Seriously, I am excited to return to school, to feel the energy that comes from students and teachers running around campus, to watch the year unfold with all its promise and hope. But I will also miss the summer months very, very much, and not just because of the crazy trips that I/we took but because of the small, little moments that define and distinguish the summer months from any other time of year. Today, for instance, I took a nice bike ride at 10:00 am on a Monday - when will that happen again?! Afterwards, I prepared lunch for Michael and me: a melted cheddar-carmelized onion open-face sandwich that I followed up with an ice cream sandwich. I also took the dogs on an easy stroll in the morning, something that eludes me during the school year. No nap today, but I could have taken one, had I been in the mood.
All that changes, which is normal and necessary. I will hurry out the door tomorrow morning, after downing breakfast and a cup of coffee with cream, quick good-byes to the household (that includes the dogs). I will struggle to remember my students' names and my schedule for the first quarter and it will take me time to re-learn the flow of the day, the week, the month. I will never feel that I have the flow of the year because it will (or usually does) fly by. I will try to dress professionally and act competent and at some point in the year I might believe that I actually AM competent, but then there will come a reminder that I need to work on a few small 'issues'. I will also spend a lot of time in the faculty room, making copies, gossiping (never about students! Gasp!), catching an elusive moment of peace or frantically preparing for the next class which begins in 5 minutes!
I wonder if I will ever tire of the start of the year, if it will bore me or if I will feel "over it", just blasé and full of ennui. I suppose that is the moment when I will have to step back and evaluate my life.
As for this year, it all begins again.


Kim said...

Good luck with the new school year! Summer seems to go by so fast. It seems like just yesterday when you were celebrating the end of AP exams! That's how it goes, I guess. You will enjoy that energy from teaching, I'm sure :) Can't wait to hear how the first week goes!

Jaya said...

Oh! This is like the other side of my post! I love it! New terms are like fresh starts. I feel so energized just reading this post. You are going to have an amazing year :)

Anonymous said...

Welcome back to the school year! I always approach fall with anticipation because school is starting and schedules actually mean something again. I can't handle uncertainty!

I hope your first week went well!