Motivation - totally worth it

This weekend served as a nice reminder as to why I should NOT succumb to my couch potato tendencies, as much as I would like to just lie around and do nothing.  On both occasions this weekend, when I wavered and then finally got out the door, I was ultimately rewarded with the chance to enjoy a beautiful day.  So, reminder to self - don't be a lazy slob!

Before I give myself too many pats on the back, I admit that I ditched a Saturday morning run, even though I was the one who sent out an email earlier in the week trying to drum up interest.  So, total fail on my part (Rob - sorry about that!).  I will say that it was nice to go to the farmers' market, walk the dogs and run a few errands.  However, by Saturday afternoon, I was regretting my decision, especially after I watched the 2012 Ironman World Championships on TV.  Totally inspiring.  Plus, the weather was gorgeous - I couldn't ask for a better afternoon for running.  So, I finally laced up my shoes and hit the trails.  I set out around 2:30 and finished around 4:00.  While I missed the companionship that the morning run would have given me, I will say that the light during the afternoon hours was just amazing - almost like something out of the Hudson River School.  I finished the run tired and kind of chilly, but quite happy that I had a few miles under my belt for the day.

Yesterday afternoon, the opportunity to be lazy for the afternoon once again presented itself.  We had plans to go camping in Malibu for the night, but more than once I entertained the thought that we could just spend Sunday en casa and then go to Malibu for a hike early Monday morning.  Somehow, we opted to get our camping stuff in the car and head west.  Once we hit the road, we were both so happy for the change of scenery.  Even though Malibu is not that far away from where we live, it has such a different feel, so it does seem that we're getting away from our humdrum lives, even if it's just for a morning or an afternoon.  We camped at Leo Carillo, not exactly a place to go for solitude! There were some younger kids having a fun night! But, it makes up for that by allowing people easy access to the water and a lovely beach to watch the waves, birds, surfers and the sunset.   This was truly LA camping - we didn't bring food but opted to grab dinner out after the sunset and then return to our campsite to drink wine and go to sleep. Which we did by 8:00 pm or so!

Overall, not a bad place for a quick jaunt, even if the wind kicked up and our tent hit our faces for most of the night!  Waking up, getting coffee and taking yet another walk on the beach was an even better reminder of why this was all totally worth it.

June - a time for ends and beginnings

I'm back from the annual school camping trip - annual for me, at least.  Some people go on more than one trip per year with different classes, but this is my sole commitment.  I tend to feel conflicted about the trip, as it's usually tons of fun, offering a variety of activities, such as a ropes course and surfing, and a great setting, but it is also exhausting - precisely because of the activities and the setting.  I return from it feeling either windburned or sunburned or both and physically tired after late nights (for me) and long days spent outside.
This year, everything about the trip went smoothly - kids were great and the weather was perfect (not too hot, not crazy wind, sunny and pretty mild), so I have nothing to complain about.  After all, the trip the did showcase plenty of highlights.  Perhaps more importantly, the trip offers a moment to get away from work and life - while still working - and think about the year, about the students whom I teach and the school where I work.  It also, for me, signals that the year is drawing to a close.  There are many endings to the year and this is merely one of them, but it might be my favorite moment to spend time with colleagues and students and reflect on the year.  Nothing like early morning walks to the beach to appreciate life.
Even with all of the excitement and beauty, I fully welcomed the return trip home yesterday.  On cue, June gloom appeared yesterday morning - after days of lovely mornings, low clouds gathered around the campground and hills and hid the coast, which made it a perfect day to run, even with a creaky knee.  And then I was more than ready to return home. Upon crossing the threshold of our house, I dumped out all of my dirty clothes (or all the clothes that I took with me which were dirty, whether I wore them or not), showered and took a nap in a comfortable bed.  Civilization at its best!
This weekend, despite grading and school obligations, like graduation, has felt like the beginning of summer.  It is a bit warm in these parts, but the morning sun did not welcome us until almost noon - probably because we went to Malibu for an early, open water swim (me) and a fantastic ride on the coast (both of us).  I almost bailed out on both of those when, as we were driving north on PCH from Santa Monica to Malibu, the rain started to spit down on us.  Yes, I would be getting wet for the swim, but a cold, wet ride did not appeal.  Despite those reservations, we were both happy that we ventured west on an early-ish Saturday morning and stuck to the plan.  After the ride, we hit Lilly's, a place that we discovered a few years ago just by chance and return about once a year.  The breakfast burrito hit the spot - we split one and I'm sad to say that I wolfed my half down in about 2 minutes.  While I had to return home to grade exams, it was a wonderful Saturday morning and made me feel that summer is here, whether the calendar says it is or not.
For us, the summer will be busy with visiting friends and family and traveling near and far, depending on one's definition of those distances.  I am also daydreaming of afternoon naps, plenty of reading, hikes and walks and afternoon cocktails.  The months are full of promise, yet a part of me already senses that the months will pass too quickly.
Still, before the days grow short again, cheers to summer!

The annual camping trip - 2012 version

Now that I've lined up the numerous bags (3 packs, 1 tent, 1 sleeping bag, plus some other random stuff) to tote all of the stuff that I *must* have for a total of 3 nights and 3 days, I don't ask myself why don't I go camping more often.  It requires SO much stuff.  And I have no doubt that I will have forgotten something.  Plus, I am not even schlepping pots and pans and other items that are often required for camping.  I am, however, taking my wetsuit, two towels and plenty of other odds and ends for the trip.  Thus, the gazillion bags!

This is the annual camping trip that I take - or have taken for the past 3 years.  Gasp, this is year four, so I must be turning into something of an "old-timer" on this particular trip.  It is not for pleasure, although there are many fun moments, as I head north with fellow teachers and a large group of students for a final hurrah to the year or to the high school career.  As I piled up clothes and gear, it did make me wonder why I no longer camp on my own - or with Michael as a great way to travel and experience new and familiar areas.  I admit that I do prefer to spend the night on a bed, but there is something so wonderful about being outside, so close to the sky and to the earth, in a tent.

The last time Michael and I camped together was this trip, and just looking at the pictures makes me want to go back and do it all over again.  It also makes me wonder when did I stop hiking and camping so much.  Oh, yes, the swim, bike, run training and racing thing which can often take over most and all free time which I have to dedicate to 'training'.  It also requires that all of the money I spend on gear, well, I spend it on THAT sort of gear rather than on a new filter for a water bottle.

But pulling out the tent and the backpacks and my lovely Thermarest does make me feel nostalgic.  It is definitely time that I go camping without my colleagues and students, as much as I like them, and without it being a work obligation.  After all, putting the 'work' limits or expectations on camping changes the meaning of the experience all together.  And I would like to return to the true meaning of camping.  You know, struggling with the tent, cooking dinner in a small pot and eating out of said pot, falling asleep as soon night falls while listening to the quiet that surrounds you.  Soon, I hope!

For now, however, this trip signals the end of the academic year, and it is a nice way to bring so many different aspects of the year to a close.  By Thursday, I will feel anxious to return, but I look forward to being so close to the coast that I can easily run or walk there, perhaps practicing some easy yoga at sunset and having all of my meals prepared for me.  There are worse things in life, especially when I can take in beautiful scenery and sneak in a few moments of relaxation.  Now that is camping!

Wind storm and gratitude

Oh, yes, Thanksgiving was more than a week away which means the ubiquitous "I'm thankful for..." moment has passed me by.  I did, however, assign my students a short essay with that topic, and one of them noted that they had similar assignments when they were in first grade.  Nice.
As for Turkey Day, it was a great weekend.  We braved the crowds of LAX, which ended up being lighter than we expected, and made it safely to Texas.  Over Thanksgiving, we enjoyed much good food and drink (lots of good drink).  In addition to the usual turkey, we stuffed ourselves on Friday, eating Mexican food for lunch and dinner, once on "our" side of the border and the other time on the "other" side.  Good times and lots of margaritas!
We also made the most of our travels!  The first photo is from our layover in Houston - damn, those beers are Texan-sized!

Upon our return to LA, our bags were delayed for no reason at all.  So, we got a drink at the Encounter bar, this crazy, futuristic 60's-style bar/restaurant (it looks like something out of "The Jetsons!").  Instead of being angry and impatient about our bags, I totally chilled out:

Now, back to the theme of gratitude.  It's a timely topic since I found myself more grateful than ever yesterday afternoon when we walked into our house and discovered that we had POWER for the first time in 60+ hours!  Power meant heat, lights, heat, refrigerator, heat, washing machine, heat.  Did I mention heat?!  I realize that we don't live in the Northeast, so losing power for 2.5 days doesn't have quite the same bite that it could, but our house had settled into a rather cold state, not budging much above 58 degrees (or something like that - maybe 55?!).  I spent the past few days wearing long underwear, Smart Wool socks and a beanie as I wandered around the house!

All of this made me hyper-aware of the fact that:
1. I obviously could not survive well if suddenly transported to a different time period where heat was not common.
2.  I am totally lame.
3.  I am totally lame.

Despite days of some grumbling and feeling 'on edge', I tried to be appreciative of the fact that we did NOT have any major damage, unlike many, many people in the Pasadena area who were not so lucky.  Michael and I also enjoyed a few candlelit nights of backgammon (I emerged the winner one night while he completely routed me the next) and good conversation.  I try not to take for granted the fact that I consider myself lucky in many ways, but this served as an important reminder, especially when it comes to living and sharing a life with a person whom I actually like and with whom I enjoy spending time.  I do believe that the regular day-to-day humming along of life can mask whether or not you actually like the person that, in theory, is your partner, in one way or another, but when you have nothing else but candles and conversation, then you sure as hell had better enjoy each other's company!
So, we did survive the crazy, record-breaking windstorm of 2011, and we both enjoyed a serendipitously unexpected day off work on Thursday.  I have experienced snow days before, when I lived in Philly and Seattle, but never a 'wind day', so this was something new.  Michael and I spent much time in the car driving around so that we could charge our cellphones.  Crazy, I know!
Friday was a bit complicated at work.  We still did not have power on Friday, nor did many of my students.  I took my cellphones and other electronic items to work and plugged them in; so did many of my students!   Needless to say, very few people (I include myself in this group) could focus on Friday.  I think people's emotions ranged from giddiness to frustration to anger.  While we resorted to bar food on Thursday, we were determined to eat in house on Friday.  We still had eggs and a few other items that we could cook up on the stovetop which did still work thanks to the gas stove.  Cooking by headlamp and candles - almost like camping!  Especially considering that I wore multiple layers.  I think my teeth were still chattering:

Finally, on Saturday - bliss, oh, bliss, our power came back on!  I would like to say that I'm a more profound person, but I was ecstatic when we walked into a WARM house.  After avoiding being in our house for a few days because of the chill that set into my bones as soon I walked into the house, it delighted me to feel welcome in my own house and to not pull on my long underwear to hang out on the sofa!

So, we still have a little shrine that we resurrected in order to remember our 2.5 day 'ordeal'.  Please note the bottles as our candle-holders!

Hello to June!

So, May seems like a blur at this point, marked by two rather epic events for me (Wildflower Tri and Mt. Wilson Trail Race). In between those fun challenges, reviews, exams, and plenty of end-of-the-year prep filled my time. I "celebrated" the arrival of June here, at El Capitan State Beach, north of Santa Barbara:

Source

Beautiful, right? I know that it's a professional photo, but it really is one of the most beautiful places in CA, although there are lots of those "one of the most beautiful places" around here! Anyway, from Tuesday to yesterday, I woke up and could see the blue of the Pacific Ocean as I stuck my head out of my tent, and I participated in activities such as surfing (I even stood up on the board for a millisecond!), kayaking, yoga, a sunset hike, and several walks to the beach pictured above, and enjoyed beers and conversation around a campfire! It sounds like a total retreat, right? As if I were at a spa for a few days to rejuvenate...

Well, I also ate off dirty plates by the second day (impossible to really clean plates while camping), drank bad coffee, endured crazy winds thanks to which I am now suffering from wind burn, wore stinky clothes and felt grimy in general... Oh, and I was there with about 100 angst-ridden teenagers. Okay, not really angst-ridden, but yes, 100 teenagers.

Ah, good times - the annual Senior Trip. And then I returned yesterday and picked up exam packets, which I have yet to touch but really need to power through so that I can turn in grades on Tuesday.

Doesn't my life suck?

Just kidding!

The trip with the kids really is in a stunning part of the world, and we do enjoy some amazingly fun activities. This year, the kids were GREAT and there was limited drama, to my knowledge, and no injuries, which counts as a minor miracle (injuries = time in ER for chaperones). The wind was a bitch, but overall, I would call the trip a success. It does mark one of those final moments of the year, and for the seniors, of their high school experience, and can be a time for the students to hang out with friends and classmates and bond and maybe even reflect on the "high school experience". For the adults (the chaperones), we also hang out and bond and enjoy time with students and colleagues.

Still, I can't describe my happiness when I walked down our street and was welcomed by our wonderful dogs and Michael. A massage, a shower, pizza and a great night's sleep in a bed have made me feel pretty much back to normal.

Now, I just need to make it until Wednesday, the final day of meetings, and then the true celebration of summer's arrival can begin!

When things fortuitously don't go as planned...

First things first: I finished my first-ever tri!

Race and weekend recap to come.

Second thing: I open up my web browser today and see that Bin Laden is dead. Crazy!

But to pick up where I left off, the whole camping and competing thing. Thanks to a friend who did the Wildflower a few years ago (twice - she's a beast!), I had several packing lists and kept checking them and crossing off items that we had and were ready to go. One significant item, of course, is a tent, and we possess not one, not even two but THREE tents. Mind you, we really only make good use of one, our backpacking/hiking tent.

For this trip, however, we took our car camping tent which is a Coleman, not great but works fine. The last time we used it, I confess, was two summers ago when we road tripped with our dogs and they slept in the tent with us (they were usually drugged on Benadryl while we stuck to beer as our drug of choice).

We left Friday afternoon, as soon as I could possibly walk from school to home, change and finish the final packing stuff. The trip up was easy - except for the many bathroom stops because I was trying to stay really hydrated, so that meant a lot of peeing! We arrived at Lake San Antonio, a state park, around 7:00. It was a ZOO! I have never seen camping like this. As we drove around the camping area, I realized why this was called the "Woodstock of Triathlons". Cars were parked in wherever they could go and then tents were set up all over the place. Michael said that it looked like a triathlete refugee camp. I realize that may be a somewhat offensive comment, but it seemed very apt. It was so crazy!

We finally found a place and started to unpack. First things first: the tent! We got it out and started to set it up, and then scratched our heads' many times. We seemed to be short at least one set of significant poles, maybe even two. We decided "What the hell", we'd just make do with a lopsided structured. And then we looked for the top of the tent, a VERY important component because the temperatures were already dropping and it was chilly. We looked in the car, around the tent stuff, UNDER the tent that we had tried to set up. Nope, nothing.

Apparently, we left the top of the tent, along with the other sets of poles, at home. The first sentiment that hit was embarrassment - I couldn't *believe* that we had made such a ROOKIE error!

We looked at each other, each of us contemplating our options, and then we seemed to both agree - head back into town and look for a motel. Once we arrived in Paso Robles and had cellphone service, I started calling around. I knew that there would be nothing available in Paso, but finally called further south, in San Luis Obispo, and a luxurious Motel 6 had a room for both nights - Friday and Saturday.

We immediately made a reservation, and then we headed to Artisan, the restaurant where we ate with my parents at the end of March. There, we ended up having a glass of wine and sharing a cheese plate before we headed to SLO (as it's known) and crashing for the night.

Even though we were at a dumpy little Motel 6, we both agreed that we were SO happy that we had forgotten half the tent. So much for being hard-core!

Return from the wilderness

That could be a metaphorical "wilderness" or something much more literal. Not that I would describe camping around Santa Barbara as a wilderness adventure, but one feels a bit closer to nature when having to be on the lookout for skunks at night or when kayaking with dolphins (the former was true; sadly, the latter didn't really happen, but it sounds so awesome!). The kayaking for me always constitutes one of the highlights of an outdoorsy-beach-adventure-type of a trip. One of these days, I promise myself, I will try surfing, but I think I would prefer for it to be on my own terms. For instance, I would rather look awkward as I struggle in and out of the wetsuit without a bunch of 17- and 18-year-olds watching me in my self-conscious splendor.

So, there were some good times, but after a few days of major exposure to the elements, my burnt skin, scalp and toes were crying for a break. Woe to those of us with pale skin and freckles!

And, to be completely honest, I enjoy the camping experience when I am with Michael, our dogs and/or friends. Somehow, spending 3+ days of non-stop so-called fun with students does not have the same appeal, especially when it has already been a long year and when I need a mental break from school and work and people. Camping with kids does not offer that much-needed respite, even though the setting would seemingly offer such a retreat.

I actually returned from the trip completely exhausted and in a bitter mood, feeling unappreciated and disgruntled. So, my experience on the trip did NOTHING to improve my rapport with and amongst the kids, nor did it give me a sense of closure. Of course I realize that the trip is not for my benefit, but I cannot deny that I had hoped for a satisfyingly fun experience. Maybe I would even solidify my coolness factor with some students, if not all. Instead of reveling in fun and uber-coolness, I found myself frustrated and tired. I even wept on the phone with Michael the last night of the trip, and upon my return, I wept again in a colleague/supervisor's office. I was definitely out-of-sorts, since tears are not a normal part of my quotidian experience.

Fortunately, time, rest and good conversations can work wonders when it comes to healing a fragile emotional state (note to self: you are tired at the end of the year).

So can laughter. At the school's Baccalaureate service, which I attend because it is required of me, while there was some grave reflection, there was also much laughter and joy, and my resentment and bitterness dissipated as I congratulated students and shared the happiness that they felt (although my own was deeply tinged in relief) at their many accomplishments.

As they move on, the cycle for me, for my colleagues, will begin anew, but it is certainly time for a break.

Summer beckons, and I must come!