Ever since my students took their AP exam, multiple endings and good-byes have marked the final weeks of the year. It seems to be a rather long march, as I tick off many "lasts" from my list: last day of seniors, last day of classes, farewell parties to colleagues, last day of exams, the end of the senior trip, graduation (finally!), and then last day of meetings. That final day of meetings is yet to come, but graduation certainly marks a moment when, as a community, we breath a collective sigh of relief. Not that I can speak for everyone, but I know that Sunday night, as the pomp and ceremony came to an end, I felt much lighter, and, as usual, I spent way longer at the faculty/staff post-graduation party than I intended, probably thanks to the coconut shrimp that is always the highlight of that event.
I don't think that I "do" good-byes or come to a sense of closure very well, and this year was no different. For my younger students, there is a sense of comfort that I'll see them around next year, even if I don't teach them, but the seniors start to slip away throughout the spring semester. It's natural, and I'm usually fed up enough with some or most of them that I can't wait to see them leave my classes (yes, teacher of the year award here). But then I head off on the Senior Trip, and it is usually a really nice way to conclude the year with lots of activity. This year, I did the ropes course and surfing the same day and the next day, I felt muscles in my body that I didn't know existed. Overall, the trip is exhausting but fun, and I usually have a few great conversations with random kids, and I end up appreciating them, which is a nice change from how I feel about seniors for most of the month of April. However, the final morning, I'm officially burnt out - tired of sleeping in a filthy tent (after only 3 days, I'm a lightweight), sorting through dirty clothes, and feeling sunburned - and just ready to get home! Friday, I returned home and promptly took a nap, after shoveling a salad into my face. So nice to eat greens after a few days of an almost total-carb diet! The outdoor group that we contract for the trip calls this the "float and bloat" trip because it's pretty low-key and the focus is on having fun. And stuffing ourselves, obviously.
After more greens, sleeping more in a bed, unpacking all of my shit and doing mounds of laundry (how does one manage to get so many clothes so dirty in a relatively short amount of time?), I started to feel that I was returning to my normal self. By Sunday night, I was able to put on a dress and look somewhat 'together' enough for the formality of graduation. Not that it really matters what I wear since we strive to be academic in cap and gowns, same as the graduates. Again, pomp and circumstance!
This is also the time of year that I can look back and evaluate the experience as a whole. As I conclude this year, I've felt a bit conflicted about my teaching, classes and connection to students. Michael has commented that my stress level has seemed, to him, lower than usual. I'll take his word for it, but I can't help but wonder if I've just slacked off a bit more this year. Have I also been more negative? More disconnected? More discontent? Or do I always find myself swirling in these thoughts at this time of the year? I suspect that the answer to that question is a resounding "YES", especially as I think back to other years, some of which ended with much lower points than this year (like the year that I made a student cry; I realize that none of what I'm writing makes it seem as though I'm a good teacher or caring teacher). But, still, it can be hard to get to this point and be all sunshine and warm happy thoughts.
Which brings me to the topic of reminders - things that I really should remember for next year:
- First of all, don't make any major professional decisions in May. It sounds crazy, but at the end of the year, I almost always think about switching schools, changing careers or taking a year off. I contemplate any number of options and even look at job boards for the hell of it. Again, I'm not winning teacher of the year awards here. It's not that I don't like what I do, but I seem to suffer serious burn out by the end of the year.
- During graduation, I should dress more strategically under the gown because it gets really hot! Also, make one more bathroom before the ceremony. I didn't have to majorly pee during the ceremony, but it was still a nagging thought as I sat there for hours.
- Do NOT, under any circumstances, look at people in the audience during graduation, especially during the most-boring-speech-ever (how did this student end up as Valedictorian - so boring!), because if they make a face at you and you start to laugh on stage, it doesn't look good. Fortunately, I didn't start to laugh, but that was only because I bit the inside of my cheek really hard.
One of these days, I'd like to end the year without all this ambivalence towards myself, students, colleagues, and entire place of work. Maybe that is where the idea of closure comes into play - so that I don't feel quite so torn about the experience. But isn't the bittersweet ending a part of the experience? If it weren't bittersweet, what would that mean, especially as we celebrate and say good-bye to students and certain colleagues?
And maybe this is why I like the academic calendar. As soon as one year ends, I can begin to think about the next year, wonder how to tweak a unit, or restructure a class, or improve a project, and contemplate my own performance and personal experience. There is always the hope that I can improve!
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Highs and lows for the week
By the time yesterday afternoon rolled around, I was more ready to get off the rollercoaster ride that the week had been. However, instead of basking in the glow of the end of a hard week, I settled into a bit of a grumpy, stewy fog of a mood. On a Friday afternoon! Fortunately, it lifted after a walk with the dogs and a small but potent margarita. Just what the doctor ordered!
The grumpiness has followed me around for much of the week, developing last weekend when our neighbors' dogs (four small things) started to bark fairly incessantly, keeping us up at night and setting me totally on edge. We were feeling pretty desperate about the situation - not sleeping, Michael working at home and not being able to concentrate because of the barking. At one point, Michael, in a sleep-deprived fit of frustration, even commented that buying the house was the biggest mistake we'd made. To try to resolve or alleviate the problem, we moved our bed from one room to another to the final room where it will probably stay put, and we also talked to the neighbors, expressing our concern for their dogs rather than our frustration with them. Additionally, we considered writing a letter and also calling the SPCA which, according to their website, does deal with barking dogs. In the meantime, we were both reading about the effects of dog barking, all negative, which did nothing to reassure our nerves. I know that some people consider it a point of pride the fact that they can function without much sleep, but I am not one of them. So, figuring out a solution to the barking dogs was a necessity if we were going to live in this new house with any sense of peace and happiness. Finally, on Tuesday, we slept thanks to the white noise playlist we created. I had never appreciated sleep as much until that night - total bliss!
The other nadir (can there be more than one lowest point? In theory, no, but let's say it was a different nadir, work-related rather than personal/home) was a student issue. I can't go into details, but I felt somewhat unsatisfied by the action taken by the school/the administration. While I was told (note the passive voice) that the school would absolutely support me, in the same sentence the same person used the phrase "thin ice" to describe my position. I'm sure the fact that I was tired from lack of sleep did not help my overall reaction to the student's infraction and the consequences, or lack thereof.
Fortunately, there were some moments that lifted my spirits. Tuesday, a colleague and I took our classes on a field trip to see a few of the hundreds of L.A. murals. The timing was terrible (note to self: do not take students on a field trip in April), but the experience was a success. Also, a student gave me a bag of oranges from the orange tree in her yard as a thank-you for writing her letter of recommendation. In non-school related themes, I started Tuesday track workouts with a local tri group, and they've been both fun and really f-ing hard. The last time I ran track workouts was over 20 years ago, but mixing in a bit of speed shouldn't hurt too much.
I *am* getting excited and nervous for next weekend's big event. I realized that opening my 'season' with Wildflower and going in with high hopes is probably a terrible approach, so I've adjusted my expectations. In my terrible funk, I invested in some new tri clothes - a full on "kit". It's totally obnoxious with crazy colors and designs, but I tried it out and didn't run into any chaffing issues, so I'll gear up in it for Wildflower. Maybe it will make me go faster? One can always hope.
At this point, I'm ready to have a more relaxed week, both in terms of work and play/life!
The grumpiness has followed me around for much of the week, developing last weekend when our neighbors' dogs (four small things) started to bark fairly incessantly, keeping us up at night and setting me totally on edge. We were feeling pretty desperate about the situation - not sleeping, Michael working at home and not being able to concentrate because of the barking. At one point, Michael, in a sleep-deprived fit of frustration, even commented that buying the house was the biggest mistake we'd made. To try to resolve or alleviate the problem, we moved our bed from one room to another to the final room where it will probably stay put, and we also talked to the neighbors, expressing our concern for their dogs rather than our frustration with them. Additionally, we considered writing a letter and also calling the SPCA which, according to their website, does deal with barking dogs. In the meantime, we were both reading about the effects of dog barking, all negative, which did nothing to reassure our nerves. I know that some people consider it a point of pride the fact that they can function without much sleep, but I am not one of them. So, figuring out a solution to the barking dogs was a necessity if we were going to live in this new house with any sense of peace and happiness. Finally, on Tuesday, we slept thanks to the white noise playlist we created. I had never appreciated sleep as much until that night - total bliss!
The other nadir (can there be more than one lowest point? In theory, no, but let's say it was a different nadir, work-related rather than personal/home) was a student issue. I can't go into details, but I felt somewhat unsatisfied by the action taken by the school/the administration. While I was told (note the passive voice) that the school would absolutely support me, in the same sentence the same person used the phrase "thin ice" to describe my position. I'm sure the fact that I was tired from lack of sleep did not help my overall reaction to the student's infraction and the consequences, or lack thereof.
Fortunately, there were some moments that lifted my spirits. Tuesday, a colleague and I took our classes on a field trip to see a few of the hundreds of L.A. murals. The timing was terrible (note to self: do not take students on a field trip in April), but the experience was a success. Also, a student gave me a bag of oranges from the orange tree in her yard as a thank-you for writing her letter of recommendation. In non-school related themes, I started Tuesday track workouts with a local tri group, and they've been both fun and really f-ing hard. The last time I ran track workouts was over 20 years ago, but mixing in a bit of speed shouldn't hurt too much.
I *am* getting excited and nervous for next weekend's big event. I realized that opening my 'season' with Wildflower and going in with high hopes is probably a terrible approach, so I've adjusted my expectations. In my terrible funk, I invested in some new tri clothes - a full on "kit". It's totally obnoxious with crazy colors and designs, but I tried it out and didn't run into any chaffing issues, so I'll gear up in it for Wildflower. Maybe it will make me go faster? One can always hope.
At this point, I'm ready to have a more relaxed week, both in terms of work and play/life!
Friday, October 19, 2012
The black hole of October
Perhaps I have said this before (or said it about different months), but April is definitely NOT the cruelest month in my life. I would have to say that October trumps it by a large margin. I was feeling pretty good about the academic year, even about going away for a weekend, but then last week hit and the metaphorical wheels sort of fell off the wagon. I could blame the sense that I've fallen into a black hole on the hours of meetings through which I had to sit the past two weeks, or I could blame back-to-school-night, indisputably the low point of every year (even though I really don't mind talking to parents and doing the dog-and-pony show, it's just having to be "on" that is exhausting).
However, I think that losing power at the end of last week for over 24-hours tipped the scales. Yes, this is definitely one of those first world problems, I recognize that, but I swear, it seems that if the wind blows, if it's hot, if it's cold, if we sneeze, then the transformer blows! While not having power can be fun for a few hours, the romantic quality of reading by candlelight soon loses its appeal. We ended up going to a bar on Thursday night so that I could grade papers, and Michael could draw. On Friday night, I graded papers at a cafe while Michael went to class. When we returned to our house around 10:30 pm, the power trucks were heading out, and we saw lights on the block! It is amazing how appreciative we felt on Saturday. Our dogs, by the way, were a bit freaked out with all the commotion while the power company was working on the street, and one or both of them ended up peeing on our kitchen floor. As Michael said, the workers scared the piss out of them. Pobrecitos!
This week hasn't sucked quite so much (aren't I positive), but I developed an eye infection yesterday - just on the eyelid, but it grosses me out. While it doesn't look terrible to other people, I feel like my left eye is almost swollen shut. Hopefully the anti-biotic eye ointment* will do the trick sooner rather than later, and I'll feel like my old self.
In the meantime, it IS Friday night - hooray! I can't believe how exciting my plans for the weekend are - to write at least 10 letters of recommendation. Ah, the joys of teaching high school seniors, all of whom seem to be applying to a school with a November 1st deadline.
In addition to feeling overwhelmed by work stuff (thank goodness I don't actually have an important job), I've been stressing about getting enough miles and staying in shape in the pool and on the bike, to a small degree. Finally, I said "Screw it!" I'd like to stay in top form - whatever that is - but I've also decided that focusing on the trail run in November is enough of a goal at the moment. We'll see if I turn into a fat slob after that!
*Ointment - one of those words that I just hate the way it sounds. "Slacks" is another one. These words should be banned!
However, I think that losing power at the end of last week for over 24-hours tipped the scales. Yes, this is definitely one of those first world problems, I recognize that, but I swear, it seems that if the wind blows, if it's hot, if it's cold, if we sneeze, then the transformer blows! While not having power can be fun for a few hours, the romantic quality of reading by candlelight soon loses its appeal. We ended up going to a bar on Thursday night so that I could grade papers, and Michael could draw. On Friday night, I graded papers at a cafe while Michael went to class. When we returned to our house around 10:30 pm, the power trucks were heading out, and we saw lights on the block! It is amazing how appreciative we felt on Saturday. Our dogs, by the way, were a bit freaked out with all the commotion while the power company was working on the street, and one or both of them ended up peeing on our kitchen floor. As Michael said, the workers scared the piss out of them. Pobrecitos!
This week hasn't sucked quite so much (aren't I positive), but I developed an eye infection yesterday - just on the eyelid, but it grosses me out. While it doesn't look terrible to other people, I feel like my left eye is almost swollen shut. Hopefully the anti-biotic eye ointment* will do the trick sooner rather than later, and I'll feel like my old self.
In the meantime, it IS Friday night - hooray! I can't believe how exciting my plans for the weekend are - to write at least 10 letters of recommendation. Ah, the joys of teaching high school seniors, all of whom seem to be applying to a school with a November 1st deadline.
In addition to feeling overwhelmed by work stuff (thank goodness I don't actually have an important job), I've been stressing about getting enough miles and staying in shape in the pool and on the bike, to a small degree. Finally, I said "Screw it!" I'd like to stay in top form - whatever that is - but I've also decided that focusing on the trail run in November is enough of a goal at the moment. We'll see if I turn into a fat slob after that!
*Ointment - one of those words that I just hate the way it sounds. "Slacks" is another one. These words should be banned!
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Back into the swing of things, sort of...
The summer months, as much as I love them, often feel a bit unreal, as if I'm stuck in some Never Never Land. Returning to the reality of work can be a jarring experience, however, there is also something comforting about a schedule - it's the scaffolding that keeps the minutes and hours and days and week in place and defines the ebb and flow of each week. Usually, by the end of summer, a part of me needs the predictability of a schedule to set a rhythm to my life. That said, the beginning of the year felt rough this time around! My mouth was disconnected from my brain during meetings, so I have no doubt that I made a less-than-coherent statement or two. As I endured the marathon of meetings that we have at the beginning of the year, I came home feeling depressed and fairly uninspired. Not a great sign.
Fortunately, returning to the classroom, despite the stress that comes along with the first few days, has reminded me that, yes, I like teaching. At this point, I feel less frenetic than last week and am finding the sweet-spot in some of my classes. I've managed to adjust to the "look professional" expectation, and I'm building back my teaching stamina - standing (or pacing, which is mostly what I do) and talking more throughout the day. By this week, I have a better feel for my classes, and I've already survived several school events, so the year seems to be well underway. In other areas of my life, I'm also trying to return to "normal". Again, I often view summer as a break from the norm. Now, we're on a budget (although a bike fitting with lots of upgrades did not exactly fit into that so-called budget, but I think that someone else will feel more comfortable on his improved bike!), so we are making an effort to curtail many of our evenings out. Food-wise, this seems like a good time to try to eat more responsibly, so I'm weaning myself off the caramel sea salt ice cream habit that blossomed over summer.
I have also resumed some swim/bike/run activity, but my enthusiasm definitely continues to flag. I would not mind that so much, in fact I would probably have given myself the entire month of September to focus on school/work, except that I committed myself to the Malibu Triathlon back in March. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I definitely have racer's-remorse at this point and cannot believe that I'm supposed to 'race' day-after-tomorrow! To be honest, I'd happily do a no-show if the race hadn't been SO freakin' expensive (again, it seemed like a good idea when I signed up). Not racing seems like throwing money away, so that is just not an option. I am, though, still kicking myself for blithely signing up for this race those many months ago. At the time, it also seemed like a great way to end my 2012 triathlon "season", but I did not predict the mental and physical exhaustion that would kick my ass at the end of August. Maybe I should have, who knows at this point?
So, with my lackluster enthusiasm in tow, I'm going into this race with a completely different attitude than I've ever had for the whopping 4 previous tri's that I've done. To say that I haven't really trained is not at all a hyperbolic statement but is quite simply the truth - since August 6, I can count on my hands the number of times that I've swum, biked and run. While the bike and run don't concern me too much, the open-water ocean swim could present a challenge, especially because Malibu can be rough! If I don't completely suck at the swim, I should survive the bike/run portions (although the last time I tried a brick, I ended up walking at mile 3 - so lame). Needless to say, I've re-evaluated my previous goals for this race - whatever they were. I'll be happy, I swear I will, with a decent bike ride and if I don't walk during the run.
I will say that the other positive from this race is that we are going to have a mini-getaway tomorrow night (in a cheap motel, very romantic, I know) so that Saturday morning doesn't start quite so hideously early. Also, the weather has been miserably hot the past few days, so a day in Malibu will be a nice reprieve! Finally, it really SHOULD be a gorgeous day and course, and maybe I'll see some famous people? Maybe I'll even beat some famous people?! Oooh, the excitement just might kill me.
And then, after this, I'm going to start to plan out my fall 'training'!
Fortunately, returning to the classroom, despite the stress that comes along with the first few days, has reminded me that, yes, I like teaching. At this point, I feel less frenetic than last week and am finding the sweet-spot in some of my classes. I've managed to adjust to the "look professional" expectation, and I'm building back my teaching stamina - standing (or pacing, which is mostly what I do) and talking more throughout the day. By this week, I have a better feel for my classes, and I've already survived several school events, so the year seems to be well underway. In other areas of my life, I'm also trying to return to "normal". Again, I often view summer as a break from the norm. Now, we're on a budget (although a bike fitting with lots of upgrades did not exactly fit into that so-called budget, but I think that someone else will feel more comfortable on his improved bike!), so we are making an effort to curtail many of our evenings out. Food-wise, this seems like a good time to try to eat more responsibly, so I'm weaning myself off the caramel sea salt ice cream habit that blossomed over summer.
I have also resumed some swim/bike/run activity, but my enthusiasm definitely continues to flag. I would not mind that so much, in fact I would probably have given myself the entire month of September to focus on school/work, except that I committed myself to the Malibu Triathlon back in March. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I definitely have racer's-remorse at this point and cannot believe that I'm supposed to 'race' day-after-tomorrow! To be honest, I'd happily do a no-show if the race hadn't been SO freakin' expensive (again, it seemed like a good idea when I signed up). Not racing seems like throwing money away, so that is just not an option. I am, though, still kicking myself for blithely signing up for this race those many months ago. At the time, it also seemed like a great way to end my 2012 triathlon "season", but I did not predict the mental and physical exhaustion that would kick my ass at the end of August. Maybe I should have, who knows at this point?
So, with my lackluster enthusiasm in tow, I'm going into this race with a completely different attitude than I've ever had for the whopping 4 previous tri's that I've done. To say that I haven't really trained is not at all a hyperbolic statement but is quite simply the truth - since August 6, I can count on my hands the number of times that I've swum, biked and run. While the bike and run don't concern me too much, the open-water ocean swim could present a challenge, especially because Malibu can be rough! If I don't completely suck at the swim, I should survive the bike/run portions (although the last time I tried a brick, I ended up walking at mile 3 - so lame). Needless to say, I've re-evaluated my previous goals for this race - whatever they were. I'll be happy, I swear I will, with a decent bike ride and if I don't walk during the run.
I will say that the other positive from this race is that we are going to have a mini-getaway tomorrow night (in a cheap motel, very romantic, I know) so that Saturday morning doesn't start quite so hideously early. Also, the weather has been miserably hot the past few days, so a day in Malibu will be a nice reprieve! Finally, it really SHOULD be a gorgeous day and course, and maybe I'll see some famous people? Maybe I'll even beat some famous people?! Oooh, the excitement just might kill me.
And then, after this, I'm going to start to plan out my fall 'training'!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Ready or not - a month of new experiences
August seems pregnant with lots of possibilities and plenty of unknowns! I feel that I'm usually winding down my summer in one way or another at this point (although past summers would demonstrate how false that statement is), but things are ramping up!
First up - the now over-discussed (by me, at least) Boulder 70.3 which starts bright and early tomorrow morning! My wave (Females 40-44) hits the water at 7:20, a time that makes me happy, although I can't wait for all the faster waves that start after my wave to swim over me. Still, the earlier the start, the less time in the heat on the run (I hope!). I do have a 'race strategy' in mind - basically, I'd like to be well-fueled and well-hydrated so that I don't crash on the run. A piece of advice that I read regarding one's first 70.3 - "If you think you're going too slow on the bike, you're probably not. You aren't going to finish first, so leave some for the run." I realize that some people DO place when competing in their first half-IM, but I will not be one of those people. The course is not very difficult in terms of challenging hills, but the run is very exposed and can be quite hot. The weather cooperated perfectly today, supposedly hitting 80 degrees high, but the Weather Channel predicts that temperatures will be closer to 90, if not over it, tomorrow. In addition to a 'solid' performance (for me - it's all relative), I am also gunning for a good finisher's photo. It's been more or less impossible for me to accomplish that goal in other races, but it would be nice for this race!
Not to over-analyze how I'm feeling about the race, but I am, at the very least, confident that I can finish (barring crazy technical difficulties, like 2 flat tires). Not that I want to be on the course for nine hours, but if worse comes to worse, if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. I can look back at my training now and think about what I wish I had or had not done, how I could have tweaked it, or ramped up the intensity, but there is nothing that I can change at this point. I'm definitely a bundle of nerves and excitement, and my biggest hope is to enjoy the experience - have fun, be okay with some (or lots of) suffering, and finish strong, preferably with a smile.
I hope to rest as much as possible post-race so that I am ready to head south to Managua, Nicaragua on Tuesday morning. It is a bit of a crazy schedule, as a few days of R&R would have been nice (although I've had plenty of those this week and a few more might drive me crazy), but I'm looking forward to being in Nicaragua with colleagues and students! This will be my first trip to Central America (I usually go north, south or east of Central America), and I am trying to keep an open mind about what to expect. That is with the exception of rice and beans, which I know will form the bulk of my caloric intake while in Nicaragua. It will be a fast trip, but, just like the half IM tomorrow, I hope that it will be a good, if not great, experience. I expect that both of these experiences will take me out of my comfort zone and give me much to reflect upon as the summer comes to an end.
Both of these experiences have required a certain amount of preparation. I feel as though I've dedicated plenty (too much?) of time and energy, both mental and physical, to the half-IM, but for Nicaragua, my preparation has mainly involved attending meetings, getting shots, and stocking up on basic necessities (like insect repellant, a hat, appropriate shoes...). Preparations for the Boulder race started to feel 'real' this week, as I saw small signs acknowledging the event popping up all over town. Then, when I went for my final swim on Thursday (that's right, I'm lazy), a huge Ironman trailer had arrived. And, finally, it REALLY hit me yesterday when I checked in! With the race looming, I've taken full advantage of the concept of tapering this week. While I have spent some quality time swimming, biking, running this week, I also got a pedicure, took lots of naps, and watched the Olympics almost nightly. I've filled the past two days with low-key activities like doing laundry, eating at the Mountain Sun (my current favorite brewpub), and watching an old black-and-white film, "Nightmare Alley". For Nicaragua, my thoughts have wandered 'there' more often and I even packed my bag today, but it is still a fairly passive preparation. I think that the experience will feel real when I arrive at the airport - or maybe when I board the plane?
Upon my return, I will have had my fill of new experiences and might be ready to return to the comforting routine of home and then back to school in September! But until then, there will be plenty on my mind.
Not to over-analyze how I'm feeling about the race, but I am, at the very least, confident that I can finish (barring crazy technical difficulties, like 2 flat tires). Not that I want to be on the course for nine hours, but if worse comes to worse, if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes. I can look back at my training now and think about what I wish I had or had not done, how I could have tweaked it, or ramped up the intensity, but there is nothing that I can change at this point. I'm definitely a bundle of nerves and excitement, and my biggest hope is to enjoy the experience - have fun, be okay with some (or lots of) suffering, and finish strong, preferably with a smile.
I hope to rest as much as possible post-race so that I am ready to head south to Managua, Nicaragua on Tuesday morning. It is a bit of a crazy schedule, as a few days of R&R would have been nice (although I've had plenty of those this week and a few more might drive me crazy), but I'm looking forward to being in Nicaragua with colleagues and students! This will be my first trip to Central America (I usually go north, south or east of Central America), and I am trying to keep an open mind about what to expect. That is with the exception of rice and beans, which I know will form the bulk of my caloric intake while in Nicaragua. It will be a fast trip, but, just like the half IM tomorrow, I hope that it will be a good, if not great, experience. I expect that both of these experiences will take me out of my comfort zone and give me much to reflect upon as the summer comes to an end.
Both of these experiences have required a certain amount of preparation. I feel as though I've dedicated plenty (too much?) of time and energy, both mental and physical, to the half-IM, but for Nicaragua, my preparation has mainly involved attending meetings, getting shots, and stocking up on basic necessities (like insect repellant, a hat, appropriate shoes...). Preparations for the Boulder race started to feel 'real' this week, as I saw small signs acknowledging the event popping up all over town. Then, when I went for my final swim on Thursday (that's right, I'm lazy), a huge Ironman trailer had arrived. And, finally, it REALLY hit me yesterday when I checked in! With the race looming, I've taken full advantage of the concept of tapering this week. While I have spent some quality time swimming, biking, running this week, I also got a pedicure, took lots of naps, and watched the Olympics almost nightly. I've filled the past two days with low-key activities like doing laundry, eating at the Mountain Sun (my current favorite brewpub), and watching an old black-and-white film, "Nightmare Alley". For Nicaragua, my thoughts have wandered 'there' more often and I even packed my bag today, but it is still a fairly passive preparation. I think that the experience will feel real when I arrive at the airport - or maybe when I board the plane?
Upon my return, I will have had my fill of new experiences and might be ready to return to the comforting routine of home and then back to school in September! But until then, there will be plenty on my mind.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Re-entry to "reality"!
I consider myself lucky, not only because of my recent trip (reports to follow), but also because I have yet to experience the serious travel/adventure-withdrawal/depression that a few of you mentioned. This isn't to say that I haven't suffered post-trip/vacation blues in the past, but it's a welcome change to not only find myself happy to be home, even though everything is dismally brown and it is blazing hot (to me), but to find myself thriving.
Perhaps this indicates that the trip gave me enough time to rest and relax that I "recharged" my mental and physical batteries? Despite being in plenty of different places over those four weeks, Michael and I did not keep up a break-neck, let's go-go-go, frantic and frenzied pace. There were some days when played the tourism card to the hilt, but other days were a smattering of lazy mornings coupled with a long walk.
I also cannot emphasize enough the relief that one feels when getting out of the car after a hellishly long drive. I don't mind road trips, in fact, I enjoy them, but I loath traffic. Ironic, isn't it, that I live in the Los Angeles area?! I am usually quite attune to traffic and don't mind changing a route to avoid long delays, and a thought did bounce around in the back of mind, wondering about Sunday night traffic coming back to LA from Vegas. "Nah" I told myself. It's summertime, too hot for people to 'weekend' in Vegas. In retrospect, I find such naiveté humorous, but while enduring the mainly stop and sometimes go frustration of traffic, humor was NOT on my mind. What should have been a 3.5 hour drive extended to 7 hours, which meant that a 13 or 14-hour drive in one day turned out to be 17 hours or so. The only thing that saved my sanity (and probably Michael's too because he did not have to listen to me rant and rave) was a trashy book that I could read while stuck in traffic. Thank you, Jeffrey Archer for writing the fictional equivalent of cotton candy! I totally left poor Michael to battle with switching lanes and inching forward while I lost myself in the captivating and inane narrative. That man is a total saint!
Once out of the car - Happiness! Relief! Delight! Exhaustion! We made it home! The best part was that these wonderful little beings greeted us:
I had missed Gus and Milo, aka "the Boys", SO MUCH over the past four weeks! And it was somewhat reassuring to know that they had missed us just a bit too. They sat close all night, and when we eventually went to bed, they slept right outside the room, snoring and yelping a bit as they dreamed (I love it when they dream - I always wonder if they actually get to CATCH squirrels in their dreams instead of merely chasing them). The only unfortunate part of the touching story of our reunion is that they gained some serious poundage in our absence. Gus, the lab-beagle mix, in particular. He can now be described as that three-letter word: F A T.
And finally, easing back into the swing of things has helped, going into the office to take care of some paperwork and helping out with a college essay-writing seminar. I consider myself to be fairly unqualified to advise students about the college process and writing the personal essay, but I must say that I enjoyed the experience of working with the students. It was a nice 're-introduction', being with colleagues and students and discussing the writing process, but not jumping back with the intensity that characterizes the official start to the year.
Now, if only that official start will be as forgiving as the return to my current reality! We shall see...
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