Wednesday, February 8, 2012


*Updated with correct grammar!

Today, being Wednesday, is commonly known as "Humpday".  I have named this particular Wednesday, however, "STINK" day because of a very unfortunate encounter between this creature:

And this one:

(Nice tongue, I know)

Yep, I let Gus out this morning to go pee, and when I went to let him in, I thought I saw him tugging on some black thing in the corner of our yard.  The entire neighborhood has been smelling like skunk, so I knew, pretty much immediately, that he had been fooling around with a skunk.  As he ran towards the house, freaked out, I had the good sense to close the door on his face.  Not before, however, a good whiff of the skunk stink filled my nostrils and made me want to puke.  
Seriously, I have never in my whole life smelled something so awful.  And my dog now smelled awful.  And I needed to go to work in 30 minutes, so how was I going to deal with this?
Oh, yeah, that's when I woke up Michael exclaiming "FUCK, Michael, FUCK, I can't believe this, FUCK".  We washed him, threw him in the pool, washed him again, and then put him on a lead outside.  Gus, meanwhile, was shaking and had also proceeded to puke all over the back door (dry-heaving, we suppose).  I didn't blame him - I felt like throwing up myself which is why I left the house without eating breakfast or drinking coffee.
The skunk, by the way, was still in our backyard, so Michael called Animal Control who came and took the animal away.  In addition to the skunk, a raccoon also decided to visit our yard.  Honestly?!  What the hell is going on?!
I, meanwhile, went through my day feeling quite sorry for myself.  First of all, I stunk.  I'm not sure if anyone else truly smelled me, but I could not get the memory of the smell out of my mind.  Isn't it strange to think of the connection between smell and memory?  I believe that Proust writes eloquently about taste and memory.  This, unfortunately, was not quite so pleasant as his story because I felt nauseous all day long.  I did, however, use the incident to illicit sympathy from my students.  Isn't that terrible?  Total emotional blackmail.
However, I did gain some important information from one of my students - she said that leaving a can of ground coffee around the parts of the house that smell (because we did have those) would absorb the odor.  I went to the supermercado right after school and cleared out the coffee section.  Actually, I just bought two cans, but she was right and I'm now giving her an A.  Which she already had, but, hey, I like to pretend to bribe students.  
At this point, the victim of Pepe Le Pew is still a bit stinky, but I don't want to puke in his presence, so that's major progress!  He will not, however, be sleeping in our room.  Pobrecito - it's been a rough day for all of us.


ChezJulie said...

Some things you just can't plan for! And they usually happen right before work. Glad Gus is a little less odorous now.

kilax said...

Ugh! What an awful way to start the day! I am impressed you still went to work. Do you feel like the smell is finally "gone"?

I didn't know that coffee trick - good to know! Hopefully I don't ever have to use that knowledge.

My husband said he was driving home after dropping me off at the train this week and a skunk crossed the road in front of him. He had to slow down and stop, and he thinks the skunk sprayed our car. I don't smell it though.

Ameena said...

Suddenly I am relieved that I have a child who vomits instead of an animal who finds skunks! I am SO sorry!!

Kristina said...

ChezJulie - It is the worst and also so typical when things randomly happen before work.

Kim - Going into to work was better than staying at home. Seriously, the open coffee can in the car trick totally works. I bought cheap coffee and left the open can in the car and it's fine today.

Ameena - That is a toss-up. Child who always vomits (okay, not 'always', but you know what I mean) vs. skunked dog. Yesterday, I would have taken a lifetime of child vomit though!