Box by box, little by little - Progress!

After denouncing April's cruelty in my last post/bitch session, things have improved and my mood has lifted considerably (I will say that I'm not the only one who thinks that April kind of sucks, although T. S. Eliot said it much more eloquently than I).  That said, I find myself longing for summer when, at the very least, I don't have something as bothersome as work hanging over my head!

The big news - we have officially moved into the new old house - OUR house, which I still find crazy. I say 'old' because it dates from the 1920's, with some modern updates.  It has taken us more time than we expected to be out of the last place, mainly because we own far more shit than we thought that we did.  Most of it fits in the new place, but we plan to store some of the more random and superfluous items, like Christmas ornaments, in the garage.  We moved plenty of loose items and clothes on Saturday, and then the movers came Tuesday for all of the big items - furniture and boxes.  This was our final departure on Tuesday afternoon, leaving our old abode and heading to the new one with the pups:

They had sensed for a while that something was "up", but walking through the empty house freaked them out a bit, and they panted the entire four miles or so to the new place.  They seem to have adjusted, although they are still a bit tentative about which room they really want to hang out in.  Mostly they are sticking close to us (one is snoring happily away by my side as I type this all out).

As for the house - we are still settling in.  Michael made major inroads on Thursday and cleared a spot so that we can eat at the table, but I don't feel extraordinarily motivated to spend hours and hours emptying boxes.  The kitchen and bathroom and clothes are set, and ditto for the cable, so what more do we really need?  At the moment, we can navigate the labyrinth of boxes somewhat successfully, so I don't feel particularly anxious to sort through all of our boxes, many of which we will store away in the garage. We have discovered, much to our relief and happiness, that we really do like the house and the neighborhood.  We met one of our neighbors today when we took the boys for a walk, and I think that we'll soon know a handful of people, at least by sight, if not by name.  I was concerned about the small yappy dogs that live next to us - that we'd have a barking war between all of our pets, but Gus and Milo have demonstrated zero interest in barking at them.  With the exception of the occasional outbursts, it's a pretty quiet neighborhood, which we like, especially after living so close to one highway or another throughout most of our LA experience together.  It is nice to hear birds in the backyard instead of the buzz of traffic!

Thanks to laryngitis/sore throat/cough that has dragged on and on, I was much less help than I hoped to be in terms of the move.  This particular cold strand has been quite vicious, but I am finally getting better.  It has set my goals for Wildflower back somewhat, which was initially frustrating, but I've now accepted it and am looking forward to that May 5 race day no matter what!  This morning I had my first open water swim of the season, which makes Wildflower seem a bit more real.  Until the past week, I'd been feeling confident about my swimming fitness, but I took a step backwards with my cold and really struggled through this week's swims.  However, the swim this morning gave me a good idea of where I stand for Wildflower - maybe just a hair faster than last year?  It was exciting and scary to pull out the wetsuit (fortunately I remembered where I had stowed it, unlike my Garmin cord/charger which remains elusive!), and a mile is always shorter and longer than I think that it will be, if that makes sense. I didn't kill it in the water, not that I ever do, but I also felt pretty even throughout - both in terms of stroke and breathing.  Even better, I did NOT end up with 'swimmer's itch', despite all of the warnings about that being a possible result of the day's swim!

So, it seems that we're moving ahead - settling into the house and I'm finally back to training.  I'm sure that we'll continue to make adjustments, big and small, in the next few days and weeks.

February - Where did you go?

So, I'm totally torn about the fact that we are now in March and the days keep marching along (ha ha, I couldn't resist).  Right now, I'm feeling a bit like our dog Milo:

You know, grumpy, humiliated and out of sorts because he's wearing a costume!  (It's amazing what you find when you start cleaning and clearing out as you have to move all of your shit!)

Okay, I have no costumes on, but things are kind of starting to freak me out.  The move is really happening.  We emptied our bank accounts.  We bought a house.  We are adults.  We have a lot of stuff to do.

But before I freak out about all of the changes that are taking place and will take place, I'd like to reflect for a moment on the month of February which was a pretty dam good month! School-wise, it felt like a long month, despite being short.  But, like most good things, I didn't know how great it was until it had passed me by.  I will say that the first weekend of March was pretty awesome too, but back to February - we went out a ton, saw good friends, had a long weekend, ate and drank well, and enjoyed some terrific weather.  What more do I need to say?

As for my priorities (more on the priorities thing in another post), I managed to focus more on training than I expected without feeling that I was "focused".  At the end of January, I reacquainted myself with my bike and remembered how much fun it is to spend time in the saddle!  As I've already written, my running has come back in a way that makes me very happy, although I'm still a bit worried about the occasional plantar fasciitis flare-up and take steps to mitigate that possibility.  Finally, swimming - well, I started to swim with a work colleague and she kicks my ass and makes me go faster and harder.  It's a humiliating experience, but I do think that I push myself way more because of her.  Also, she's a former D1 swimmer and still coaches, so she has great ideas for different sets.  Today, for example, we met at 5:30 am (ugh) and she had us do lots of 75s and then a 300 set that focused on breathing and then 25s that also focused on breathing (taking 3 breaths, then 2 breaths, then 1 breath then 0 breath - a different kind of challenge!).

The funny thing about my 'training' at this point - first of all, I don't think it's all that focused, in part because I've been afraid that I'd feel totally burned out by the summer, exactly the time when I need to kick it up, if I had a MAJOR PLAN.  So, no set plan but plenty of swim, bike, run.  More importantly,  I've really enjoyed the training I've done, and, when I look back on where I was last year at this time, I am - knock on wood - at a better place in terms of speed and distance and just how I feel in general.  I didn't plan on comparing, but out of curiosity, I took a glance at my very informal training log from last year (an agenda, I'm so old-school), and I'm kicking my own ass!  

Of course, all of this could change and devolve in the month of March which appears, at this point, to be a beast.  At least people aren't dressing me up in terrible costumes, taking pictures of me and posting them on the internet.  Life could be worse!

On a final note - Milos AND Gus, equally indignant and humiliated.  Happy packing to us all!

Ambivalence about adulthood

Over the past few years I've learned that creeping responsibilities and maturity have hindered my more puerile preferences and tendencies, and I've taken on more and more trappings of being a functional, mature adult.  Obviously being in an committed relationship and checking off the married box on different forms gives me a greater sense of being settled, and it makes other people see me as an old married lady.  Then, there is the age thing - no way I can get around that!
Despite these labels and the outward acknowledgements of getting older and, maybe, wiser, I often struggle with the idea of adulthood and maturity.  My recent stress flare-up has everything to do with the fact that I'm "in charge" of other adults, and obviously that role seems to challenge me since I spend hours doubting my competence.  Add to that, the grey hairs that continue to spring about my head, threatening to overtake my still-glossy brunette locks (ha ha).  I often entertain the fantasy of getting in the car and leaving everything behind just so that I can be on my own.  You know, the old open road = freedom and adventure metaphor.
Over the past few days (weeks, months, years), I have spent time thinking about what the idea of being an adult means to me.  Not that there are easy answers, but I would like to say that I'm at least making choices about taking on more stress and responsibility.  No one TOLD me to take on a new position, and I knew that it would push me in different ways, and that was one of the reasons that I did want to take on the challenge.  Also, my greatest joys happen to come from the responsibilities that I have or have had.  Today, I briefly saw students who had graduated a few years ago, and even though it was a short encounter, it reminded me of why I *really, really* like this job.  And then, there are our dogs, Gus and Milo.  Talk about responsibility!  While they are not as demanding as children, they are all the children that we plan to have, and I have, to put it mildly, grown attached to them.

The boys in Santa Barbara.

A few recent purchases put into my mind the whole "adult" thing too.  On Saturday, I used a gift card and bought new work shoes.  To me, they are just sooooo middle-aged, proper, responsible and schoolmarmish.  Terrible, in other words.  Everything that I would like to reject! However, they were comfortable and not ugly, so I bought them.  I wore them today, all day, standing up, walking around, pacing back and forth, striding around, and they are great!  But, without a doubt, they make me feel OLD.  

On the other hand, we just got a new bed - our first bed purchased together as a couple after 6 years!  It is a definite upgrade for us, and I can't wait to either sleep deeply on it or toss and turn all night.  Either way, I'll feel like I've "arrived" as an adult, just because we have a new bed!  

So, there are major positives about this whole adulthood thing.  I suppose that I can trade the lack of freedom to roam for close relationships and an awesome new bed!

Obviously other people fully embrace the adult ethos without hesitation.  Perhaps I do have somewhat of a stunted emotional intelligence, OR maybe I'm honest about the ambivalence I feel about putting myself into that 'adult' box?

Stinkday

*Updated with correct grammar!

Today, being Wednesday, is commonly known as "Humpday".  I have named this particular Wednesday, however, "STINK" day because of a very unfortunate encounter between this creature:

And this one:

(Nice tongue, I know)

Yep, I let Gus out this morning to go pee, and when I went to let him in, I thought I saw him tugging on some black thing in the corner of our yard.  The entire neighborhood has been smelling like skunk, so I knew, pretty much immediately, that he had been fooling around with a skunk.  As he ran towards the house, freaked out, I had the good sense to close the door on his face.  Not before, however, a good whiff of the skunk stink filled my nostrils and made me want to puke.  

Seriously, I have never in my whole life smelled something so awful.  And my dog now smelled awful.  And I needed to go to work in 30 minutes, so how was I going to deal with this?

Oh, yeah, that's when I woke up Michael exclaiming "FUCK, Michael, FUCK, I can't believe this, FUCK".  We washed him, threw him in the pool, washed him again, and then put him on a lead outside.  Gus, meanwhile, was shaking and had also proceeded to puke all over the back door (dry-heaving, we suppose).  I didn't blame him - I felt like throwing up myself which is why I left the house without eating breakfast or drinking coffee.

The skunk, by the way, was still in our backyard, so Michael called Animal Control who came and took the animal away.  In addition to the skunk, a raccoon also decided to visit our yard.  Honestly?!  What the hell is going on?!

I, meanwhile, went through my day feeling quite sorry for myself.  First of all, I stunk.  I'm not sure if anyone else truly smelled me, but I could not get the memory of the smell out of my mind.  Isn't it strange to think of the connection between smell and memory?  I believe that Proust writes eloquently about taste and memory.  This, unfortunately, was not quite so pleasant as his story because I felt nauseous all day long.  I did, however, use the incident to illicit sympathy from my students.  Isn't that terrible?  Total emotional blackmail.

However, I did gain some important information from one of my students - she said that leaving a can of ground coffee around the parts of the house that smell (because we did have those) would absorb the odor.  I went to the supermercado right after school and cleared out the coffee section.  Actually, I just bought two cans, but she was right and I'm now giving her an A.  Which she already had, but, hey, I like to pretend to bribe students.  

At this point, the victim of Pepe Le Pew is still a bit stinky, but I don't want to puke in his presence, so that's major progress!  He will not, however, be sleeping in our room.  Pobrecito - it's been a rough day for all of us.

A random week

I could very easily get used to my schedule this week which has included sitting around the house grading exams for a bit, then taking a short break (to snack, look at the dogs or let them out and maybe even play with them, waste 10 minutes or so on the interweb like I'm doing now, or do some light housekeeping, like fold laundry), then returning to grading, then taking a longer break to go for a bike ride or to make lunch, then grading more, and then taking another long break...
Maybe not the most productive lifestyle, but it really works.  Now, if only I could find a way to do this all the time!
Okay, that's an impossible dream, so I will bask in the fact that I have a break from my 'real life' this week which has allowed me to definitely switch around my usual schedule.  A few changes from the norm:
- Going out on a Sunday night!  That is something that almost never happens because Sunday is "crunch" time as I cram to prepare for the week, but I discovered that Sunday night is a great night to go out because it is such a low-key evening in most restaurants.

- Working out mid-morning or early afternoon is such a treat.  The pool is set up competition-length, so I can get a more exhausting workout.  Also, biking mid-day, mid-week is super fun and other cyclists seem nicer than the weekend riders.  Maybe that's my imagination?  Finally, I get to attend spin class with Rod, the most awesome spin instructor ever on Friday morning at 8:30 am!

- Along the same theme, trying out a new class.  Somehow, having more mental energy from putzing around all day means that I can push myself to try something new, like Pilates last night.  That was a great experience, and I hope to repeat it soon!

- Taking our dog Milo to the vet for his recent and unexplained weight loss.  Apparently we've had him on a starvation diet since his bloodwork is normal.  Don't I feel like a terrible pet owner?

- Brunch on a Friday morning followed by a pedicure - that plan is in the works for tomorrow.  Can't wait to be a "lady who brunches".  It might actually remind me why I *like* to work, but pretending to be a lady of leisure for a day isn't a bad thing.

The other major positive about the week is that, with the exception of Sunday's splurge (in every way possible), we have returned to a more "normalized" eating pattern.  The past 6 weeks or so have been filled with too many celebrations and vacations, so we ate out more than usual as we celebrated two birthdays and the holidays, traveled to places with good food, and enjoyed socializing with friends and family.  Now, we have no excuses about the lack of time or company or special events, so we are back to preparing meals en casa which is much easier on the pocket book and the waistline.  Hopefully this will not just be the product of a 'random' week but will become the norm again as I return to a more hectic routine starting Monday!

In the meantime, I'm back to grading essays.

A look back at the 30's

Well, if I had anything on my before-I-turn-forty bucket list, it's a bit too late to worry about it now since that day is rapidly approaching.  Holy cow!

Source

I fulfilled the only urgent to-do-before-I-turn-forty item yesterday - went to the DMV and renewed my license!  I only had to wait an hour too, which wasn't bad.  When I left, the line just to pick up paperwork was about 10 people deep.  Crazy!

Before I reflect on the nature of turning 40 and what that means, let me just say that I am leaving this decade in a better place than where I was when I entered it.  I feel that I actually became somewhat of an adult over the past 10 years, and not just because I finally met one of society's standards of measurements by getting married.  In every other way, I still fall into "irresponsible" category (no house, no kids, I don't even have a car to myself these days).  However, I do feel that I've changed for the better, just like a fine wine improves.

Seriously though, I'd call myself a late-bloomer without any hesitation.  I was pretty much a disaster throughout my 20's, so things could only look up.  Fortunately, they did!

Not to reduce the decade to bullet points or a quick paragraph, but looking back, I can see significant moments that have shaped how and where I am now.  For instance:

- Moving from Seattle to Monterey, Ca.  That was a hard decision, and there were so many times in the years following the move that I questioned the decision.  However, it WAS exciting to live in California, an experience that I never planned or necessarily wanted.  I explored the Central Coast and got to know the Monterey Peninsula, Big Sur (one of those must-see places!), Santa Cruz and even San Francisco, which was an easy weekend get-away.

- After 3 years in Monterey, moving to the LA area where I've lived in 3 areas or neighborhoods, all very different.  Again, I never imagined that I would live in Southern Ca nor that I would stay here for going on seven years nor that it would feel so much like "home" to me.

- Getting hitched!  After a whirlwind two years of bicoastal flights and long weekends together, Michael gave up his super urban New York lifestyle.  It still amazes me that what started as a great fling in Colorado at some friends' wedding gained serious traction, and, well, here we are.  Cheers to that!

- Adopting Gus and Milo, obviously!  What a game-changer that was.  I was so dog-crazy a few years ago that we even started the search to buy a house so that we could get a dog.  Note that I said A dog, not two.  But we ended up with two pretty fantastic mutts who are great travel companions, accompanying us to San Francisco, Seattle, annual trips to Colorado and even to Texas!  And they are our daily companions too, enriching our lives and sometimes driving us crazy.  

- After bouncing around job-wise, I've seemingly become more responsible and stable on that front and have taken on new roles and different challenges.  It has been a great experience to grow professionally and personally at a place of work, and I do feel lucky for that.
- The 30's have definitely been marked by a range of travel, near and far.  While there are large swaths of the state of California and the American West in general that I have yet to explore, I do know some places quite intimately thanks to yearly pilgrimages (Boulder, CO and San Francisco come to mind) and have been north and south on the 5, east and west on the 10, the 15, and highways in between with stops in Oregon, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico.  Plus, a few trips to Spain and France and Ecuador.  Peripatetic indeed!
- Other changes are more subtle - better food and drinking as I've developed a taste for dirty martinis and good beer, in addition to wine of both colors; creaking bones and more grey hairs but still enjoying fairly good health; a penchant for REI, Patagonia, and 'gear' in general; dressing better for work (that's actually kind of a bummer) while keeping up a great t-shirt collection and sock collection; doing more 'couples-things' while still being an individual; getting to run again; living in a one of the most boring towns in the world that happens to have access to so many adventures.

Maybe because I am so content with where I am now, I don't have a list of improvements for myself for the next decade.  While, yes, I am still not perfect and probably won't ever be (ha ha - the "probably" is a joke), I don't need dramatic changes in my life.  If they come about, positive and negative, I hope that I can manage them without a kerfuffle*, but maybe a bit of chaos will keep me on my toes, lest I become TOO content with my life.  That is the delicate balance for me, but I've struck a nice equilibrium at the moment.
We shall see how long I can sustain it!

Kerfuffle - A commotion or fuss.