Leaving California: The Long Good-bye

Fitting that there is a Raymond Chandler book and a Robert Altman movie (based on the book), called The Long Good-bye.  Emotional ups and downs along with cramming in packing, finishing school, training, tying up all sorts of loose ends at school - both personally and professionally -  along with seeing different groups of friends for a good-bye reunion marked the month of May and the beginning of June.  We are excited to move to Colorado, but we do so with sadness at leaving a place that has been our home for a substantial amount of time.  When I think of my Southern CA chapter, in particular, I can't ignore the major milestones that I experienced while living here: transitioned to married life, adopted 2 dogs, lost a dog, bought and sold a house.  I made and lost friends, grew as a teacher and took on new and different challenges at work and extracurricularly.  We definitely have built a life here, a very full and good one, so leaving is hard.

Since it's impossible to sum up 10 years in the LA area, plus another 3 years in the Central Coast area for me, I won't even try.  I never expected to live in California - it wasn't one of the places where I dreamed of living, I just sort of ended up here.  I'm not sure that I ever felt like a true "Californian" (not being blond and not surfing), but even as transplants, we both grew roots to the area which are painful to pull up as we move away.  We've had an amazing life here, have appreciated the great variety of people, places, and options, and I'll never forget the friendships we made and the experiences that we had.

So, for now, here is a quick good-bye:

The last morning on our front porch - enjoying a moment before starting the long drive to Boulder!  And, by the way, my feet really aren't huge, but they look crazy big in this photo!

There is more to say, and I suppose the title of the post is a bit misleading since, well, this is quite brief. I'm still taking in the fact that we are moving/have moved.  So, this move, while certainly not a surprise to us and something that we've wanted for years, IS bittersweet as I think about what we're leaving behind.  It's exciting but scary as I think about the unknown and the openness of what's to come.

And we're off! I drove the important cargo - bikes + dog! Essential items for a new life.

Motivation - totally worth it

This weekend served as a nice reminder as to why I should NOT succumb to my couch potato tendencies, as much as I would like to just lie around and do nothing.  On both occasions this weekend, when I wavered and then finally got out the door, I was ultimately rewarded with the chance to enjoy a beautiful day.  So, reminder to self - don't be a lazy slob!

Before I give myself too many pats on the back, I admit that I ditched a Saturday morning run, even though I was the one who sent out an email earlier in the week trying to drum up interest.  So, total fail on my part (Rob - sorry about that!).  I will say that it was nice to go to the farmers' market, walk the dogs and run a few errands.  However, by Saturday afternoon, I was regretting my decision, especially after I watched the 2012 Ironman World Championships on TV.  Totally inspiring.  Plus, the weather was gorgeous - I couldn't ask for a better afternoon for running.  So, I finally laced up my shoes and hit the trails.  I set out around 2:30 and finished around 4:00.  While I missed the companionship that the morning run would have given me, I will say that the light during the afternoon hours was just amazing - almost like something out of the Hudson River School.  I finished the run tired and kind of chilly, but quite happy that I had a few miles under my belt for the day.

Yesterday afternoon, the opportunity to be lazy for the afternoon once again presented itself.  We had plans to go camping in Malibu for the night, but more than once I entertained the thought that we could just spend Sunday en casa and then go to Malibu for a hike early Monday morning.  Somehow, we opted to get our camping stuff in the car and head west.  Once we hit the road, we were both so happy for the change of scenery.  Even though Malibu is not that far away from where we live, it has such a different feel, so it does seem that we're getting away from our humdrum lives, even if it's just for a morning or an afternoon.  We camped at Leo Carillo, not exactly a place to go for solitude! There were some younger kids having a fun night! But, it makes up for that by allowing people easy access to the water and a lovely beach to watch the waves, birds, surfers and the sunset.   This was truly LA camping - we didn't bring food but opted to grab dinner out after the sunset and then return to our campsite to drink wine and go to sleep. Which we did by 8:00 pm or so!

Overall, not a bad place for a quick jaunt, even if the wind kicked up and our tent hit our faces for most of the night!  Waking up, getting coffee and taking yet another walk on the beach was an even better reminder of why this was all totally worth it.

Friday night adventures: "In Wonderland"

Despite the fact that we did not celebrate the big V-day for a variety of reasons (nice use of double "v" there), such as grading quizzes and someone taking an art class and two people not really seeing each other that day, our Friday night more than made up for an overblown, commercialized and fabricated tribute to love and romance.  Can you tell how I feel about the whole day?  I certainly don't mean to be a total cynic, but I'm skeptical.  Not about chocolate, wine and flowers, but people (corporations - oh, wait, corporations ARE people now thanks to the US Supreme Court ruling) telling that I'm either supposed to give them or receive them on a certain day.

Back to last night which was not, fortunately, a forced romantic holiday.  It was, however, Friday and the perfect reason to venture out of our usual local haunts.  We braved crowds and traffic and found our way to LACMA (LA County Museum of Art).  My parents gave us a membership for Christmas this year, and this was the first moment that we could to take advantage of our new membership status.  One major advantage of the membership is that we can spend as much or as little time as we want.  Last night, our main purpose was to see the exhibit "In Wonderland: The Surrealist Adventures of Women Artists in Mexico and the United States". And see it we did!  I thought that it might be packed like the Tim Burton exhibit we saw over the summer, but fortunately it was super calm and we could take our time and really enjoy the art we saw (or enjoy the art that we liked).  It was well organized - great information and well laid-out.  I definitely liked some of the art but not all of it, which seems pretty standard.  I was, however, excited that they had quite a few works by Remedios Varo.  She's a Spanish painter who left the "madre patria" after Franco took over in '39.  I saw an extensive exhibit of her work when I was in Mexico City back in 94 (long time ago!).
These were two of the works on exhibit - the first one is called "Creation of the Birds" and the second is "Woman Leaving Psychoanalyst".  I like to imagine that she is carrying the head of the analyst, or of her father?!

There were plenty of paintings by Frida and some other women artists.  The photographs by Lee Miller, who was Man Ray's assistant but became an accomplished photographer on her own, were pretty great too.

This, however, was not my favorite:

Don't even ask me what this is...

After that exhibit, we also spent some time wandering around the California Design exhibit which we both loved, of course.  It is strange because I certainly still feel like an interloper here in Southern CA, someone who is just visiting (for a few years), and this exhibit perhaps reminded me why I feel like a visitor in such a glamorous place in terms of the "American experience".  I don't think that I'm expressing this very well, but so much in the exhibit was familiar from movies and my sense of America in the 40's, 50's and 60's, but this is certainly not a reality that I've ever personally lived, I've just experienced it through film and TV.  So, that brings me back to California.  Some of my favorite items from the exhibit - the Airstreamer and a nice little surfboard. Both are so Californian!

By the time we wandered through these two exhibits, museum headache had started to take hold (or it was a hunger headache), and we decided to leave in search of food.  Our first choice, Plan A, was way too busy at 7:30 pm on a Friday night.  The second choice, Chi Dynasty in Los Feliz, was pretty slammed but they had a few two-tops, so we sat down with no problems.  It was quite fun to be back at Chi Dynasty - it literally had been years or at least a year and a half since our last visit.  What I like about Chi, in addition to their food, is that they also make great drinks.  I had a St. Germaine cocktail that was awesome.  The dining experience as a whole was not amazing, mainly because there was a table of loud, shrill girls (heavily-made-up 20-somethings) sitting next to us, and their conversation made my ear hurt.  But the food hit the spot, and it was good for us to leave our usual restaurant haunts!

Sad to say, by the time we arrived home, I was ready for bed - apparently  an exciting night on the town for us ends at 9:00 pm!

A look back at the 30's

Well, if I had anything on my before-I-turn-forty bucket list, it's a bit too late to worry about it now since that day is rapidly approaching.  Holy cow!

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I fulfilled the only urgent to-do-before-I-turn-forty item yesterday - went to the DMV and renewed my license!  I only had to wait an hour too, which wasn't bad.  When I left, the line just to pick up paperwork was about 10 people deep.  Crazy!

Before I reflect on the nature of turning 40 and what that means, let me just say that I am leaving this decade in a better place than where I was when I entered it.  I feel that I actually became somewhat of an adult over the past 10 years, and not just because I finally met one of society's standards of measurements by getting married.  In every other way, I still fall into "irresponsible" category (no house, no kids, I don't even have a car to myself these days).  However, I do feel that I've changed for the better, just like a fine wine improves.

Seriously though, I'd call myself a late-bloomer without any hesitation.  I was pretty much a disaster throughout my 20's, so things could only look up.  Fortunately, they did!

Not to reduce the decade to bullet points or a quick paragraph, but looking back, I can see significant moments that have shaped how and where I am now.  For instance:

- Moving from Seattle to Monterey, Ca.  That was a hard decision, and there were so many times in the years following the move that I questioned the decision.  However, it WAS exciting to live in California, an experience that I never planned or necessarily wanted.  I explored the Central Coast and got to know the Monterey Peninsula, Big Sur (one of those must-see places!), Santa Cruz and even San Francisco, which was an easy weekend get-away.

- After 3 years in Monterey, moving to the LA area where I've lived in 3 areas or neighborhoods, all very different.  Again, I never imagined that I would live in Southern Ca nor that I would stay here for going on seven years nor that it would feel so much like "home" to me.

- Getting hitched!  After a whirlwind two years of bicoastal flights and long weekends together, Michael gave up his super urban New York lifestyle.  It still amazes me that what started as a great fling in Colorado at some friends' wedding gained serious traction, and, well, here we are.  Cheers to that!

- Adopting Gus and Milo, obviously!  What a game-changer that was.  I was so dog-crazy a few years ago that we even started the search to buy a house so that we could get a dog.  Note that I said A dog, not two.  But we ended up with two pretty fantastic mutts who are great travel companions, accompanying us to San Francisco, Seattle, annual trips to Colorado and even to Texas!  And they are our daily companions too, enriching our lives and sometimes driving us crazy.  

- After bouncing around job-wise, I've seemingly become more responsible and stable on that front and have taken on new roles and different challenges.  It has been a great experience to grow professionally and personally at a place of work, and I do feel lucky for that.
- The 30's have definitely been marked by a range of travel, near and far.  While there are large swaths of the state of California and the American West in general that I have yet to explore, I do know some places quite intimately thanks to yearly pilgrimages (Boulder, CO and San Francisco come to mind) and have been north and south on the 5, east and west on the 10, the 15, and highways in between with stops in Oregon, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico.  Plus, a few trips to Spain and France and Ecuador.  Peripatetic indeed!
- Other changes are more subtle - better food and drinking as I've developed a taste for dirty martinis and good beer, in addition to wine of both colors; creaking bones and more grey hairs but still enjoying fairly good health; a penchant for REI, Patagonia, and 'gear' in general; dressing better for work (that's actually kind of a bummer) while keeping up a great t-shirt collection and sock collection; doing more 'couples-things' while still being an individual; getting to run again; living in a one of the most boring towns in the world that happens to have access to so many adventures.

Maybe because I am so content with where I am now, I don't have a list of improvements for myself for the next decade.  While, yes, I am still not perfect and probably won't ever be (ha ha - the "probably" is a joke), I don't need dramatic changes in my life.  If they come about, positive and negative, I hope that I can manage them without a kerfuffle*, but maybe a bit of chaos will keep me on my toes, lest I become TOO content with my life.  That is the delicate balance for me, but I've struck a nice equilibrium at the moment.
We shall see how long I can sustain it!

Kerfuffle - A commotion or fuss.

Home sweet home!

It seems that I have 'travel fatigue'.

So much for being worldly and "peripatetic". After getting up at 4:50 am to catch a train in Rhode Island into Boston and then taking the T to the airport and then flying from Boston to LA via Kansas City and finally fighting with traffic for about 45 minutes (not that bad, I suppose, considering that "Carmaggedon" is coming!), we were both MORE than ready to walk into our home, greeted by two ecstatically wagging tails. The trip was great but exhausting because we were on the move so much - DC, Delaware for me, NYC and Rhode Island in just under 2 weeks. It didn't seem overly ambitious when we originally set the schedule, but by the time Friday morning rolled around and we were on yet another train, this time headed to Westerly, RI, we both felt slightly frayed around the edges.

It wasn't just feeling that we were constantly on the move that exhausted us. When we returned last night, Michael identified that he was tired of visiting with people with his statement that he was looking forward to not socializing. I hadn't given much thought to it, but then I realized that he was right - for every single night of the trip, we spent time with friends and family (or I spent it with workshop colleagues). Don't get me wrong, it was lovely to see people and catch up - especially for Michael who was able to see friends from his New York days.

I think, however, that we both enjoyed a night to sit in front of the TV and watch mindless crap, eat a huge homemade salad, and talk about and to the dogs.

I also jumped for joy when we looked at the temperature as we landed at LAX - low 70's! I walked outside and almost kissed the dirty sidewalk because I didn't break out into an immediate sweat even though I was wearing jeans and a long-sleeve t-shirt.

Oh, California, it is so good to be back! Maybe I'll even consider myself a true Californian one of these days.

Hello to June!

So, May seems like a blur at this point, marked by two rather epic events for me (Wildflower Tri and Mt. Wilson Trail Race). In between those fun challenges, reviews, exams, and plenty of end-of-the-year prep filled my time. I "celebrated" the arrival of June here, at El Capitan State Beach, north of Santa Barbara:

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Beautiful, right? I know that it's a professional photo, but it really is one of the most beautiful places in CA, although there are lots of those "one of the most beautiful places" around here! Anyway, from Tuesday to yesterday, I woke up and could see the blue of the Pacific Ocean as I stuck my head out of my tent, and I participated in activities such as surfing (I even stood up on the board for a millisecond!), kayaking, yoga, a sunset hike, and several walks to the beach pictured above, and enjoyed beers and conversation around a campfire! It sounds like a total retreat, right? As if I were at a spa for a few days to rejuvenate...

Well, I also ate off dirty plates by the second day (impossible to really clean plates while camping), drank bad coffee, endured crazy winds thanks to which I am now suffering from wind burn, wore stinky clothes and felt grimy in general... Oh, and I was there with about 100 angst-ridden teenagers. Okay, not really angst-ridden, but yes, 100 teenagers.

Ah, good times - the annual Senior Trip. And then I returned yesterday and picked up exam packets, which I have yet to touch but really need to power through so that I can turn in grades on Tuesday.

Doesn't my life suck?

Just kidding!

The trip with the kids really is in a stunning part of the world, and we do enjoy some amazingly fun activities. This year, the kids were GREAT and there was limited drama, to my knowledge, and no injuries, which counts as a minor miracle (injuries = time in ER for chaperones). The wind was a bitch, but overall, I would call the trip a success. It does mark one of those final moments of the year, and for the seniors, of their high school experience, and can be a time for the students to hang out with friends and classmates and bond and maybe even reflect on the "high school experience". For the adults (the chaperones), we also hang out and bond and enjoy time with students and colleagues.

Still, I can't describe my happiness when I walked down our street and was welcomed by our wonderful dogs and Michael. A massage, a shower, pizza and a great night's sleep in a bed have made me feel pretty much back to normal.

Now, I just need to make it until Wednesday, the final day of meetings, and then the true celebration of summer's arrival can begin!

Not living "in the moment"

I am not going to rant about the month of March, really, I am not.

I will say, however, that booking a quick and easy get-away for the Memorial Day weekend at the end of May did make me just a wee bit too ecstatic. Seriously, I was bouncing around the house and reading up on San Diego. It's the perfect weekend trip - a mere 2 hours or so away from home, a cheap but decent place to stay, beaches, good weather, taquitos (they apparently originated in San Diego), a lobster BLT, margaritas...

I do realize that San Diego is a hop, skip and a jump down Interstate 5 from where I live, but, as lame as this is, I have never been to San Diego while living in Southern California. This is now my ninth year total in the Golden State, and I've only been to San Diego ONCE for a job conference-thingy. I shared a hotel room with a friend - not a romantic one either. How lame is all of that?

There are many things that I have to survive before and after Memorial Day, but just the thought of this weekend trip gives my step a bit more of a lift and makes me feel lighter. I realize that many people focus on living in the moment. I, however, have now happily eschewed that for a totally different mantra:

I *will* make it to May. I think I can, I think I can...